Mabon, the Autumnal Equinox, is the day the earth balances light and dark and anticipates increased darkness. Darkness feels like a small death to us, and naturally turns our thoughts to our own mortality. Part of this time is also recognizing our places on the Wheel of Life and Death.
If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’ve lived another life. There is even a good chance you have remembered bits of one or more of them, through dreams or even under hypnosis. If you’re a writer, you might have stumbled upon a great idea for a period piece that is really a memory of a past life. Those who love the arts might be drawn to a particular style period, which was an important part of a previous life.
Personally, my life is filled with the remnants of past lives. I have learned to recognize members of my soul group, for good and for ill. I’ve felt on many occasions that this life is my curtain call, my chance to bid a temporary farewell to my spiritual traveling companions. And I’ve come to some important conclusions.
Soul Mates Teach Us
I used to be all starry-eyed about meeting my soul mate. Finding him would bring the fairytale ending. We would find each other through centuries of distance. We would know each other immediately and never look back. What I have learned is we have many companions in our soul groups. They have been our friends, lovers, fathers, mothers, siblings, and children. They have given us life, saved our lives, and even taken our lives. Some of these relationships have been monogamous, while others have been affairs. If we’ve played one part in an affair, chances are good we will play the other roles too. How else are we supposed to learn?
Earlier in this life, I was engaged to a man who felt very familiar. One night I dreamt my father hung him in my childhood home. This dream haunted me for years. Within the last few years I have put the pieces together. This man was with me in Salem. My father in this life was the Salem judge who had sentenced both of us to death by hanging. That was one of our connections. Not exactly the fairytale I was hoping for. My relationship with this man ended years ago, and our paths have not crossed since. We had what we needed from each other, and there were other lessons to learn.
Reversing the Cycle
Soul communities teach us, but sometimes they pull us into old cycles of behavior we shouldn’t repeat. That contentious relationship you just can’t shake, is probably the continuation of a lives-long cycle. Countless marriages, families, and work environments are the continuation of a spiral of abuse. Often the participants don’t know why they act the way they do, or keep going back for more. They feel trapped in an irrational feud with someone over something that feels more important than they can explain. Sometimes this accounts for an immediate dislike or mistrust of a person. Other times it starts with that initial spark of finding someone again, and degrades into petty games and abuse. There is only one way out, one way to break these cycles — forgiveness.
Forgiveness is hard work. It is not an invitation for further abuse. It is not reconciliation. Forgiveness disengages you from the on-going cycle. Forgiveness gives you space to reason through who you are now, and separate that from who you were then. It takes tit for tat out of the equation. You may never be in relationship with this soul partner again, and that’s okay.
The Gift and Curse of Knowing
If you have not examined your past, don’t rush anything. Ask your guides or angels for help navigating this spiritual excavation. Keep a journal. None of your entries have to make sense and they don’t have to be words. You will have a variety of memories come to you. Remind yourself you are a student. Let’s hope you’ve evolved over time. Practice forgiving yourself. It helps break your cycles of self-abuse too.
It’s also fine to choose not to know right now. You can still enjoy your companions. You can still read other people’s stories. Don’t push yourself into something you’re not prepared to do right now. We’re entering a time of hibernation, of evenings by the fire and satisfying food. Practice kindness. Practice forgiveness. Blessings on your journey.